Sex in Your Thirties - Sex Drive Hit Rock bottom?

Sex in Your Thirties

An all too common misconception about women is that once they hit a certain age, their sex drives hit rock bottom, they settle down and rarely have sex let alone enjoy it. Although its hard to deny that females in their twenties tend to have passionate and exciting sex lives, to think that once they hit their thirties its suddenly not fun anymore just seems ridiculous.


There are many arguments, some scientific, some social, that women do not only continue to have vibrant sex lives into their 30s, but that it is perhaps the best sex they have had. Hormones can be attributed as one of the main scientific arguments for why women may or may not enjoy more active and enjoyable sex lives after they hit their thirties.

Hormones in women change as they age. A hormonal women tends to be more active in her sex life as it is her body’s natural way of making her want to have sex so she can reproduce. Research has been rather inconclusive, as arguments of both sides exist. Some say women are at their hormonal peak in their mid to late twenties, meaning that once they get into their thirties, a natural decline will reduce their overall sex drive.

Some research claims that women who have passed into their thirties enjoy more active sex lives in general when compared to younger women, and that hormonal peaks can vary in age groups depending on the individual. This means no one is really sure if there is any science behind claims that certain age groups enjoy sex more than others. In this case, it’s important to look at the more social aspects of a sexually active woman who is now into her thirties.

Less Reliance on Birth Control

Contraception for women has been linked with causing her hormones to be affected in various ways. This imbalance of hormones can cause an unnatural reduction in your sex drive, despite the fact it is aimed to be sex more liberating since you do not need to worry about any unwanted pregnancy.

Women who have used birth control since they become sexually active may feel less inclined to use it as they get older. This can be attributed to many things, such as being in a long term relationship or marriage, or just relying on different forms of contraception such as condoms. The bottom line is they may want to use a different approach as they age and birth control fall into this category. Without it, women are known to become more sexually active.

Women in Their Twenties Are Less Confident in Their Sexuality

With such an emphasis on younger women to look perfect have the best body and in general look at their peak, a lot of time this can actually be a lot more pressure than people realise. Not being confident in your own body is an incredibly common thing amongst young women. Confidence in your sexually will be a direct off shoot of this, because if you don’t enjoy looking at your naked body, then you are going to assume others won’t.

The less you find sex enjoyable, the less you are likely to have, and younger women are still discovering their bodies and their sexuality, which can slow down a woman’s sex drives. The more you age and the longer you have to explore your sexuality and your own body, your confidence will grow. Low self-esteem is more common than you think among younger women and is a problem that may end up taking time to address, leading to better appreciation of yourself and your body as you experience more.

Women in Their Thirties Have increased Confidence

As you mature, you realise that a lot of the things you worried about where greatly exaggerated, this falls into most aspects of life, including your sex life. What you once worried about could be the last thing you ever think about, as you grow to appreciate more about yourself and what you enjoy. This is very apparent in the bedroom, as a woman who has had longer active sex life due to her knows exactly what she likes now.

When you know exactly what you like, you are not afraid to ask for it. This confidence in older women can help drive them to pursue exactly what they like for their sex lives. They may be more open to explore buying sexy lingerie and buy new sex toys as experience shows how much fun is to be had in trying new things. Women in their thirties won’t be afraid to speak their minds in regards to their sex lives, meaning they can get precisely what they want and therefore appreciate it all the more.

Older Women Have the Experience

The more you do something, the better you get at it. This could not be truer for your sex life, and as plenty of women in their thirties can attest to – things will only get better. Getting to know your body, its pleasures and just what you like and dislike in your sex life gives you far more enjoyment out of it. Older women have had time to zone in on exactly what does it for them - it could be fore play, certain positions or role play.

Along with that having more confidence in your ability to please your partner will only increase your enjoyment levels further. With experience, women develop knowledge in what their partners like and what sexual partners in general like. If both people are having the most fun filled passionate sex they have had, it’s going to become a more frequent occurrence with everyone appreciating it that bit more than you did when you were younger.

Life in General Get Easier When You Hit Your Thirties

Despite how much fun there is to be had in your twenties, it’s a period of self-discovery and learning. This can mean as many lows as there are highs, especially when you are trying to find your place in the world. A lot of the time you are dealing with issues from your youth too, which can form into anxieties, depression or stresses.

As you get older, most find more security, be it a career, family or just being more content with your life. This can often be the case for women in their thirties, who with less to worry about; can enjoy the simple pleasure in life that bit better – including sex.

Every Women is Different Though

While some conclusions can be drawn from comparing the sexual lives of women in their thirties to women in their twenties, it’s all down to the individual. Life throws plenty of things at each and every one of us, all of which mould and shape the very people we are.

Therefore sex can be influenced differently at any age in your life. You may find you have the best sex of your life in your 50s. Maybe you had your fun when you were younger and are happy with a less active sex life. One thing is for sure, age is just a number so it doesn’t matter what yours is, should you enjoy a fulfilling sex life that satisfies you then all is well!

We're always interested to hear your stories, thoughts and experiences. What do you do to spice up your sex life?

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