BDSM: The kinky eat as much as you like buffet!

Rubber duck with bondage gear

You watch a video of a women who is cuffed to the bed post, a ball gag in her mouth and blindfolded. In this scenario, the only thing that did it for you is the blindfold. Then you have an image of a female who’s tied up with rope hanging upside down from the ceiling. In this instance you liked the idea of the rope and being tied up but didn’t like the position of hanging. You love a little spanking but only with a soft paddle and not a long riding crop. That sounds way to painful. Is all this to be expected? Of-course it is. You’re not on your own. The is the kinky buffet of BDSM.

So what is BDSM? Well, the official definition is Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Sadism and Masochism. It’s quite simple, if its kinky, you can assume it falls within BDSM. Let’s break down each term individually.

1 - Bondage and discipline covers everything to do with restraints. It’s focused on the physical restraining of the body using chains and ropes at one end of the spectrum and silk scarves on the other end. Being tied up in a safe manner but playing the power game where punishment is awarded for any lack of discipline.

2 - Dominance and submission are insuperable. This is where one partner who is more dominant is in control of their partner who plays a more submissive role using an exchange of power play. All details are agreed on prior to the event, how long, what circumstances and to what extremes. S&M (Sadism and masochism) is BDSM but with the interaction of pain. The Sadist loves to issue pain and the Masochists enjoy being on the receiving end.

Fetish Play for everyone

BDSM has way too many variants of sex play to mention but it’s safe to say that whatever the level of kink you want there is a full spectrum of light to heavy. On one extreme there are some that like to be tied up and suspended and left on full view to an audience. Then, at the opposite end of the spectrum you have people that prefer to have their hands tied to the bedposts and blindfolded. Both work just fine, it’s more about the control element. Staying in a place for a certain amount of time or giving up something.

The dominance and submission end of the spectrum can either occur in the bedroom with only certain partners or it can be the more extreme master and slave where the slave isn’t allowed to do anything with our asking the masters permission. Taken to the extreme this can include going to the bathroom.
If your not into being hung from he ceiling, ball gaged and whipped with a bullwhip and just a good old fashioned spanking does it for you then this is still classified as BDSM.

So what tickles you?

To work out what you and your partner want involves lots of good communication. Lot’s of honestly and questions will find out the right level for you to start at. Online you can find checklists that will help you find the right level yo begin at. You can work your way down the lists ticking wether you’re interested, curious, definitely not interested. The more questions asked the quicker and further down the path of self discovery you’ll go. Over time it’s pretty common for your preferences to change and progress but this is the fun part of the journey, so no pressure, just enjoy!

Dress the part with Fetishwear

In everything you do the authenticity is paramount. To feel the part why not dress up and play the part. There are many different types of fetishwear on the market so take a good look around and see what clothing and bondage toys are available to you!

You’ll always be learning new things and experiences, there’s no end to the journey of discovery with new kinks to discover and try. The only important rule to remember is that without full consent it is abuse so your partner must be in full agreement in what to try, how to try it and to what extent to try the kinky buffet.

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